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    Danger, dream by cosmos -- Nov. 4, 2013

    I had the opportunity to sleep in at a great resort, but instead I woke up abruptly because I didn't want to continue dreaming the nightmare. In my dream, I answered a phone call from my father. He spoke in a calm voice, preparing me for the bad news that he was in jail and that it was likely that he would spend the rest of his remaining life and die in there. He said that he had gotten into an argument while drunk and then got into his car. It was unclear whether he had gotten into an accident, injured/killed someone, or just got pulled over. But he got caught nonetheless by the cops. It was his third DUI so end of the game for him. He was still on probation for his second DUI so it was automatic jail time for him. He spoke very calmly, as if he was in peace and accepted his fate. But I didn't want to hear it and was scrambling in my mind on how I had to find a lawyer, get him out on bail because he would not last in jail, even though he probably could have adjusted himself to the situation like he did on previous occasions. But it would have been different this time, because it was his third time. He continued speaking and describing what had happened and how he wanted me to handle the situation, but I just got angrier and increasingly frustrated with him becuase he did not seem to understand the ramifications of what had just happened, how he could be so irresponsible and selfish to put his family, us, through this nightmare again. How could he be so reckless, why was he such an alcoholic, why he couldn't figure out another way to let out his stress and anger instead of resorting to alcohol. I forced myself awake because I didn't want to feel this way anymore, so I got up. Physically lifted my body up from bed and jumped out of it to ensure that it was a dream and not reality. Though I immediately telephoned his cell phone even though it was 6:15am in the morning. In reality, it was 5:15 am because of daylight savings time. No one picked up the phone. And I kept shaking my head to get the dream out of my mind, my body. It was a dirty dream, and I just wanted to shake it out of my system. I opened the glass door and looked upon the ocean as the winds blew in and helped scurry away the dream, even though thoughts kept creeping back in, like the endless waves of the ocean crashing on the beaches. Slowly, it dissipated from me as the day progressed, but it left a leadening feeling in my gut all day, until days later.





    Comments

    by Sab Nov. 11, 2013, 3:11 p.m.

    Thanks for sharing this dream or nightmare I shoud say. How do you see the fact that your father kind of crossed the line ? it's its third time so no more excuse or chance for him.
    in your dream you seem to be as responsible as he's irresponsible. Like in a reverse mirror. He's acting in a selfish way and you're unselfish and concerned. He's reckless and you're considerate. You could have choosen to turn out and to leave him getting his trouble fixed all by himself. Why didn't you ? Why are you seeing yourself lwith the moral obligation to fix his troubles ? I clearly see conflict and tense in this dream. Is it really with your father?