Child, left alone on the steps, dream by wombknower -- Dec. 3, 2012
I am living in a brownstone in New York with my family. It is a busy evening, and my young niece is with us. She is about 9 years old. Her hair is braided in canerows that lead up to a little ponytail on the crown of her head. She wears pink glasses. She looks like me when I was younger.
We are hustling and bustling in the house, lots to get done. At the same time, we know that my niece's parents are coming to pick her up. My mother makes sure that her bags are packed and that she is ready to hop in her parents' car when they beep. Knowing that my mom's got that under control, I go to another part of the house to do something. My mother is busy elsewhere presumably getting ready.
I pass my mother in the hallway and we both realize that the child is with neither of us. WHERE IS SHE? Panic ensues. I run out of the house and see my niece, sitting on the front steps of the house, calmly, chin on her knees, her little knapsack at her side, waiting (alone) to be picked up. I am horrified and relieved.
My mother and I realize that our wires crossed and my niece was forgotten. My niece is understanding but sullen and hurt. What's worse, her parents' car pulled up to the house right at the time that Mom and I were bursting out the door to find her.
I retreat to the house after hugging my niece goodbye. Later, my mother tells me that her sister was very upset and disappointed with my Mother for not keeping her daughter in her sight at all times. Seems like my mother took all the blame and did not implicate me in the gaffe.
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Comments
by wombknower
Dec. 12, 2012, 12:10 p.m.
I don't think that, at present, there is a correlation between relationship status and how I engage with my Girl. But, I find myself thinking more about her when I'm in relationships.. if that makes sense. I really enjoy creative solitude, but sometimes I fear being alone (as in 'left by another'/'others'). I think that the issue is more about agency than it is about being without another... What are you thoughts on these topics? Funnily enough, I don't often experience abandonment... Its usually just the fear. | |
by Lila
Dec. 9, 2012, 6:04 p.m.
Does being single mean the child gets more care, more attention? If so, what does that say about relationships? Isn't there a contradiction in being okay with being alone and the notion of abandonment? Who is abandoning whom? | |
by wombknower
Dec. 9, 2012, 3:55 p.m.
To your question, and drilling down. I think that this dream contemplates solitude and abandonment. That for me points to a few things.. being okay with being alone, as in single, and then being okay with personal solitude. | |
by wombknower
Dec. 9, 2012, 3:53 p.m.
Hi Lila, I have been thinking a lot about relationships, romantic ones. I have been wondering about how to balance the needs of all of my selves in those relationships. I don't want to forget mother, maid and child in the process. We all have different needs to be satisfied in relationship, and sometimes, I do leave the needs of my little girl on the front stoop, while the mother and the daughter are inside tending to adult business. I suppose this has translated into trying to slow things down with lovers in a way. Paying attention to other needs, like the playfulness, the joy, the silliness, the comfort, the tantrums and gigglies.. all that good stuff. So yes, I am taking an 'everyone in the dream is me' approach.. and looking at the dream as though it is commenting on the relationship I have with various parts of myself and how they play out in connection to others. Your thoughts? wk | |
by Lila
Dec. 9, 2012, 3:53 p.m.
Seriously! What's with all this losing children? I had another one last night. The Baby in an Egg dream told me that the baby is me. Who is the child in your dream? Is she you? If so, what part of the inner child have you lost or need to pay closer attention to? | |
by wombknower
Dec. 5, 2012, 6:21 a.m.
Lila, this one's for you! |